A life coach takes clients from where they are right now to where they want to go. It is a process of building towards the future, not dealing with the past. If you need help with your past, I recommend finding a good counselor or therapist.
A coach helps you to create your vision of where you want to go, overcome the obstacles that get in your way and create momentum for you to move forward. Think of this like a canyon. You are standing on one side. You want to get to the other side. A coach will help you to build the bridge, and also get you to move across that bridge! Because it does not matter how long you stare across that canyon. You will never cross that canyon until you decide to build the bridge AND walk across it.
Today you are in debt. Your vision is to get out of debt. You look across the canyon and you see your dream of debt freedom. But you have read books and tried courses that did not work. You still have the same credit card statements, the same auto loans, and perhaps tons of student loans. Why didn’t those books and courses work for you? Because no one was there to help you bridge the gap and start to walk across it!
Beginning right now, I am your debt coach. So let’s work on your first lesson…your Identity.
Your self-identity is fundamental. The choices that you make in life and the behaviors that you exhibit flow from your identity.
Picture someone with a low identity. This person has little to no confidence in himself. He probably has good ideas but keeps them to himself. He lets others make decisions for him, even if he disagrees, because he does not believe he is a capable person.
On the other end of the spectrum is someone with high identity. She is supremely confident, maybe even arrogant. She believes she is always right and refuses to listen to anyone else or ask for their advice. She plows ahead regardless of the circumstances.
So where are you on this spectrum? Especially with how you tie money into your identity? Did you go out to dinner with a friend last night, even though you knew you could not afford it, because you did not want to tell your friend that the meal was not in your budget? Did you go out to dinner last night, even though you knew you couldn’t afford it, because “you worked hard this week and you deserved it?”. These two extremes are examples of unhealthy identities. Both lead to more and more debt.
I need to get you to develop a Saver identity. And you need to believe this is not something negative! If you believe that saving money equals having zero fun in life, then you will either sabotage your plan or quit your plan. Some people can cut everything out of their lives (cable or satellite TV, going out to an occasional dinner or movie, etc) and put that savings towards their debt. But most people can’t. This type of Saver identity might be too extreme for you; unhealthy for you. YOU need to create a healthy saver identity that allows YOU to pay down your debt in a way that YOU create and works for YOU, not a way that someone tells you to do.
What is a Healthy Saver Identity?
- You are aware of your responsibility to get out of debt.
- You are hopeful for the future and you are able to dream about becoming debt free.
- You are consistent about saving towards your emergency fund first, then towards your debts.
- You set boundaries so you do not overspend.
- You are confident in your plan.
You know that YOU are accountable for this, no one else.
If you want to bridge that gap and get out of debt, start working on your identity today. Identify yourself as a Saver, not a Spender.